During our trip out to OR in February, I felt ill and developed a cough. We figured since flu season was so bad this year, I had a mild case of it. Well, the cough lingered into March, and many of those days I did not feel my normal self. Tammy made a sick appointment for me Friday, April 9. The doctor said the cough seemed to be an inflamation of the bronchi from being ill and coughing. He prescribed an inhaler for the next 20 days.
At the end of the 20 days, the cough still existed, but I wasn't concerned. Tammy was. She made a physical appointment for me on Wednesday, June 6th and went with me to it. We gave the doctor all my symptoms, and he ordered an x-ray and blood work. I did both of them that day.
On Thursday, I missed the doctor's call at 1pm asking me to call him back. I called him back around 230pm, but he was with a patient. He returned my call around 930pm that night with information that a mass was spotted in my lung. Cancer could not be ruled out, but further tests would need to be done.
A CT scan was scheduled for that Friday. Unfortunately, the doctor was off Friday; so, we had to wait until Monday to get the results. It confirmed the x-rays findings. There was 2 inch mass in the center of my right lung.
The next step was to set up an appointment for a biopsy. I received the call Tuesday afternoon that the biopsy consulting appointment would be Thursday, July 26. This was not acceptable to us, and Tammy received help in getting the biopsy set-up for Friday, June 22.
Those are the facts to date. Here are my initial thoughts concerning them.
1) I just want to know for sure one way or another what it is. I think of all the best possible outcomes but am plagued by thoughts of the worst.
2) There is the emotional roller coaster ride of each test conducted. Again I hope for the best outcome; to only find it was the negative outcome not wanted.
3) This journey is truly never understandable unless you are on it or have taken it. I don't mean that in a judgmental way for those not on it, but as a stinging accusation for myself of how I have taken other's health issues lightly.
4) It's amazing what I once considered to be big deals!
5) I know all the platitudes. All I really need to know is that people are praying and thinking good thoughts.
6) I am jealous of those around me (who have no idea what I am going through) and their daily lives.
7) I have more questions than answers.
8) If you pay attention, many people are going through something that at that time is a big trial for them.
8) I want to be healed and grow old with Tammy, but ultimately know, I have no control. God's will will be done.
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